The Hopeless Romanticizer....

I am a hopeless romanticizer. Let me explain through an example...

Ry leaves town for an extended period of time and subconsciously I daydream about the way his cheeks smell of aftershave, the way his lips feel when he kisses mine, the way he rolls around with the babies laughing and smiling and the way he helps me fold the dreaded batch of whites or takes out the trash in freezing temperatures. I think of him fondly and I guess, due to his absence, I can suddenly only recall his best qualities all week long.

And I have envisioned his return a thousand times with a hundred different lovely variations. I fully expect to be swept off my feet in a movie-like airport embrace and passionately kissed in front of our clapping babies and the crowd of people that have gathered to witness our public reunion that plays out like a great love story in front of them. And I just know that when we get home Ry will pull a silk robe from his suitcase, tied with a bow, just for me, and he will tuck me sweetly into bed and proceed to cook, clean and rock the babies to sleep. Magical things will transpire just because my lover is back within the walls of our home. Things like, the babies' snot ceasing to flow from their nostrils and a knock on the door from Ed McMann. All because my long lost love has rejoined me.

Now, these chivalrous daydreams serve a purpose for sure. They get me through the rocky points of my solo performance and sustain me day after day, along with a touch of reality in the form of evening phone calls. But these romantic ideas that dance around in my head are, in fact, my frenemies.

No person on the planet could live up to my imagined returned without a script and a camera crew. But what do I feel when it all doesn't quite play out the way I have envisioned? Oh geez, must I admit it? I feel a twinge of disappointment that I can't even explain. What am I to do with this imagination of mine that is on romance overdrive?

And isn't that life's greatest challenge? To not be alone wishing you were in the company of others. To not be at work wishing you were home. To not be at home wishing you were in Hawaii. And so on. And to just live in the moment you are in. And to soak it up and squeeze every last drop of life out of it, because there will never be another like it?

I think yes. And I think I have a LONG way to go. But to start whipping my over-active romanticizing mind into reality shape, I'm going to go fold the laundry and clean up lunch and whistle while I work. But not the whole time - I mean, there's a LOT of work that needs to be done... :)

Romanticizer, Out...