Tuesday, January 31, 2012

H *I* GH on L *I* FE...

We have joined the *I*n crowd...
We are what Steve Jobs dreamed about...
An *I* Family of f*I*ve...

We are h*I*gh on l*I*fe.

No kidding.
We love IPhones, ITV, IPads and IMacs like we've never loved other electronics.

Except for maybe Tivo... which could, and possibly should, be spelled t*I*vo.
Just Sayin'.

And since I'm all h*I*p... I f*I*nally Instagrammed.
Go ahead and laugh if you've been doing *I*t for months.
I'm an Instagram V*I*rg*I*n... no Longer.

And I love *I*t.
Blogg*I*ng will never be the same. :)

Friday, January 27, 2012

What Up...

I find myself asking, "What's up with that?" multiple times a day...
At every little random thing I lay my eyes upon.
So I'm runnin' with it.
Welcome to the first installment of, wait for the creative title,
"What Up"...

1. What is up with the fact that Seal and Heidi Klum are officially done. I thought they had the dreamiest and most exotic of all marriages. I heard they renewed their vows every year on their Anniversary at some amazing location. For the record, Jon & Kate renewed their vows too. Conclusion... Renewing your vows = Divorce papers.

1a. I asked RyGar if he had heard the tragic news about one of his fav supermodels and he said, "Of Course. She called me."
Ha Ha.
Babe, you're adorable, but if Heidi has your number, I have her a$$ cheeks.

2. Does anyone else marvel at the fact that babies come out of the womb ready to run their first IPad? Seriously, my kids know just what to do on any "I" apparatus. Two funny techno-faux stories to share...

2a. When we Skype, Kael always looks for the person we're talking to behind the actual computer. It is hilarious. He peers around the back of the thing and is just waiting for Daddy to crawl out from back there.

2b. Dax is convinced that his finger is a magical crayon thanks to any and all coloring apps. He colors on the screen and then takes his little finger to the couch, his jeans, my face, whatever. And he is totally baffled when his "finger pen" is out of ink. So cute.

3. What is up with my dreams lately? Just ask RyGar if he's worried about what I might do in my sleep . I am sure that I am subconsciously a criminal because in my recent dreams I utilize nail guns as weapons and shovels to bury "things" that I can't even bring myself to publicly write about. What's worse is my brother is my accomplice. I'm keepin' it all in the fam - just like the mob. Watch out for me. That's all I'm sayin'.

4. On the bright side... what is up with the fabulous hair tutorials you find on Pinterest? I mean, the sock bun. Can we even put a dent in how genius that idea is and how desperately I needed it during my Nutcracker ballet days? Now I just pirouette around the house in my perfectly quaffed buns for no one but my slew of babies to impress. It still rocks.

5. What is up with my paranoia about running humidifiers in my house? I literally feel as if mold will take root and overrun my entire house because of the moisture those dang things pump out. I do it... for my babies and their snotty little noses... But I don't like it one bit.

6. What is up with Valentine's Day candy being so irresistible? Is it the color combo of pink and red? Is it the adorable shape of a heart? What the fetch? The real problem is that Easter candy is next (a little bird told me she already found Cadbury eggs at her local grocery store)... I am doomed, ya'll. Doomed.

Signing off from the chocolate heart capital of the Universe...
Happy Weekend!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sap, Sap, Sappy x Four...

This is the beginning of another sappy post. I know, I thought I could be silly and sarcastic after my last little soul-bearing experience, but turns out, sista's on a bit of a bender. And it probably has something to do with the fact that my baby, my little newbie, who just days ago made his grand appearance... is four-months old.


If I knew that time was going to fly at a speed I cannot comprehend I would hold that little body all day and breathe him in and study his blue almond eyes and his chubby cheeks and his baby-ness. I would smell him, kiss him, rock him forever to just cling to that pure love that babies bring to a family.

But the thing is, I have other babies that I divvy my time with. And I adore the silly things they say and the little expressions of love that they have developed individually. And if you asked me, I couldn't tell you if I prefer babyhood over toddlerhood. They too are growing up at mach speed right before my very eyes. So I sweat to fit in playing blocks and pitching tents and taking trips to the mailbox in the snow. It thrills me. It elates me. And it makes me sad.

I am on an emotional doozie currently. One where I am weeding out linen closets and rearranging toy rooms and then having goal-oriented, life conversations with my RyGar (which are probably sheer pain for the poor guy). Call it the effect of a new year and the blue month of January or just call it crazy. It is sorta drama queen-esque of me, I get it, but this is who I am. I can fully soak in a happy moment, spread the word with a giddy smile that Junior Mints are available in a heart shaped version for Valentine's day and flip a cartwheel and be carefree and impulsive over something like finding "Money Ball" in RedBox on a Friday evening. But, oh, can sista be thoughtful, introspective and apt to write a life thesis out of the clear blue sky.

Which is why our little family came in the fashion it came in, I'm sure. I needed to do it full-on, "balls to the wall" (pardon the expression, Mama). Because I like a challenge. I like to aspire to do better. And mostly I like to have me a posse of little people that are ready for some plain old childish fun but will also provoke thought and assessment about where we are and how we're doing.

You might think I'm knee deep in a weird little slump. I'm not. Just experiencing one of the "deeper moments" and not so much a "round-off back handspring moment".
Which you have to like. Because in all things you need a little balance. My scales are just currently evening their little selves out.

So, back to my four-month-old angel. I love that when he smiles his whole entire body grins. It isn't just a smile with his little lips, oh no, it's his arms and hands and hairline and cheeks and legs and eyes... oh it is yummy. Which leads me to believe that he, along with his brothers, will live a "Cartwheel Happy" life. And I hope that they will sprinkle it with some moments of deep gratitude and planning and thought so that they'll have perspective too. Perspective that will make them appreciate where they are, where they came from, and who they want to be.
Oh, and how they want their linen closets to be arranged. :)

And before I go on some other rant, I shall pause and put a period on this long and drawn out sentence...
Happy Four Months, Little Ace.
We love you like crazy.
You have officially made ours a loaded deck!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Life & Love...

Are you groaning at the title of this post? Groan away... cause mama's gonna go and get all existential on ya... over a Taylor Swift song no less. :)

I was on hands and knees yesterday during nap time listening to Taylor (or Tay-Tay as I call her since we're so close) on Pandora and her song, "Ours" came on. And you know when you have a quiet moment and you're listening, like, REALLY listening, to the lyrics of a song, sometimes something whacks you. Like this...

So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love work hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours.

The last couple of days I spent a little time bemoaning my state of constant activity and physical labor... I was throwing a little pity party feeling like all I get to do lately is clean non-stop and teach and bathe and feed and repeat. I asked Ryan when our next vacation was. I mean, could I get any lamer? Waa - Waa, poor me, I spend my days and nights caring for the three cutest little men on the planet... oops, make that four. :)

Then Tay Tay came through for me... life does make love work hard. But the stakes are freakin' high and I better buckle down and make it work cause this is it. This is my lifetime calling and the culmination of everything important. So don't you worry your pretty little minds, I'm pitying my state no longer, these loves are ours.

P.S. A less sappy and more sarcastic post will be coming shortly.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Hip Hip Hooray...

This is gonna get a little random, so buckle in...

First, please plug your ears and shut your eyes if you have perfect church-mice chillun's. I am about to rock your perfect reality because these little bums rocked mine yesterday....


We sat through an entire service with NO exits, no diaper changes, no spills, no biting/kicking/hitting... nothin'. Our first one ever and it was sorta glorious. And I was sorta... wait... totally proud.

Do you know what an accomplishment that is to a mama of three under three? HUGE.

Needless to say I had a bag full o'tricks that didn't stop. RyGar asked me if I was going to church as a woman or a pack mule. Funny. Perhaps I'll let him pack next time. :)

And in other news... my big boys are serious tender lovin' caretakers.

Dax, our little Romeo, will smother his babe with kisses and loves to the point that we have to drag his little bod away so Ace a' Spades can get a breath. We thought the swing might keep little man safe and sound from his little kissin' companion, but that did little to slow the love-fest down. And Kaelster runs... I mean, high tails it like it ain't nobody's business, to get the "Baby's Boddle" or the "Baby's Bink" for his little buddy when he even lets out a whimper. We have resorted to establishing a "bottle drawer" in the kitchen full of empty, unused bottles so Kaelster has a place to run to in order to retrieve comfort for his baby brother.

Those little glimpses are the ones that make you think you might be doing something right. Believe me they are just randomly sprinkled in with those moments when you're positive your screwing a bunch of it all up too.

And finally, have I mentioned our obsession with cars? Yes?
Obsession is the still the accurate word to describe it.

Here is proof that cars are people too and they need to be fed healthy things like peas to keep their little motors runnin'. Daxi told me his "Caw was Hun-dree".

And that leads me to a random close to this celebratory post...
I can't wait for the Bachelor tonight. Yup.
Ben, our Bachelor, is reminiscent of a shaggy dog and is not eye candy in the least, but....
Those dramatic, liquored up gals are putting on the best of shows for all of us viewers out here in the land of winter television doldrums.

The End...

Friday, January 13, 2012

Da Big Man...

It's no secret, I like my Ryno. He's smart. He's funny. He's an eternal flirt. And don't even get me started on those dimples (which luckily his little crew has inherited).

Today is RyGar's birthday.
He tells me that when his birthdays fall on Friday the 13th, they're his best.
I refrained from telling him what my friends and I thought about Friday the 13th when we were in middle school and were at life's prime age for being overly dramatic.

So, in honor of my guy on lucky numero thirteen, I've planned an evening that hopefully will live up to today's higher standards. More importantly, I hope RyGar knows that though this is just one night of celebration in honor of him... an entire decade of Viva Las Vegas and Choirs of Angels wouldn't demonstrate my joy at being Ryno's girl. And our latest adventures in parenthood are trips I couldn't imagine taking with anyone but the Birthday Boy. Let's just say he steps up to the task in a huge way.

Here's to something miraculous happening 35 short years ago...
The birth of the one and only, Ryan.
(And yes, 1 in every 304 boys in the world are actually named Ryan so take that last comment with a grain of salt, ya'll... you know what I meant).

May you grab life by the horns over the next 35 years and show it who is boss with your adoring sidekick and your trio of mini-me's. We love you!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Papa Hee Koo...

My Dad has a nickname.
It's "Hooky".
He tells me it's because he had a great hook shot, but let's be real... there must be more to the story because that sounds like a reason you would tell a daughter when the real reasons are, um, more in depth. :)

My Dad sent me to college with his Jeep and his personalized plates, "Hooky's".
It was hard to explain to some people since I was attending the ever-righteous, BYU campus. Ha Ha
RyGar loved it.

Kaelster has figured out that he has multiple grandpas.
It is somewhat confusing to wrap his little head around.
And really he has a couple of stellar bonus gramps too so his little head might spin without a naming system.
So, now, he calls my Pops, "Papa Hee Koo" aka Grandpa Hooky.

And Dax Man has followed his big bro's example.

I am positive it will stick.

I think for Father's Day, there might be some new personalized plates en route to the one and only, "Papa HeeKoo".

Monday, January 9, 2012

True or False...

True or False. My eldest child was not pleased that mama wouldn't buy fish food for the poor starving "pish" at Cabela's today thus he thrust his half eaten Rice Crispie treat into the man made waters and smiled at his kindly good deed.

Unfortunately, this be true. And his little bestie, Dax, was just about to follow suit but my supernatural reflexes caught his little wrist just in time.
Also true... I fled the scene like a bank robber. AND, we will not be visiting Cabela's again anytime soon.

True or False. Pinterest will make a gal crazy.

True. Totally freakin' true and don't deny it. I finally jumped in and gave it a whirl and aside from wasting an hour of my time, I left feeling as if I dress like a pauper, live in a shack and cook like a total amateur. Not sure about this Pinterest thing.

True or False. RyGar started a new job today.

Let's just fast-forward here..... TRUE! I am so dang glad that he is no longer in public accounting working as an under appreciated cog in the big wheel known as the firm. He will do wonderfully in his new role with his new company and I am so happy that his little groupies will get to see more of him. And his hot girlfriend. Whose name is Amber. Geez, don't make me spell it all out.

True or False. Ace a' Spades has a receding hairline that makes him look like the cutest eighty year old infant you've ever seen.

Oh yeah, also true. I think his head outgrew his little cornsilk topping and now he is definitely my round, circle head baby with very little downy hair. It's scrumptious.

True or False. I love my new car.

False. But not for the reason you might be thinking. I love it... I really do and I love that we have some breathing room... finally... but just ask the big littles... it isn't mine. Kaelster proclaimed during his first ride, "Me new caw". And that has stuck. When I say, time to go, let's head out, both little motor heads chime in, "In me new caw". Yep, what's mine is theirs.

True or False. Dax Man is his Daddy's boy.

True. I asked the boys yesterday what we should get Daddy-o for his birthday this week and Daxi loudly proclaimed, "MONEY!" Cut from the same cloth as RyGar that one is.

True or False. I should be folding a load of whites right this very instant.

True of course. But instead I've greedily taken this moment all to myself to see what is up in this, the new year, with all my blogging besties. Take that you loathed batch of white laundry. Also true. I'll be seeing you in five since the laundry fairy didn't arrive. Dang.

Happy Monday!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Honorable Mention Hollahs...

Have you ever heard of the San Bushmen Tribe of indigenous people in Africa? I think Daximus is an honorary member. See, they speak in a series of clicks and pops and other sounds and Daxi does too... Several times a day he asks me for "Mow-CLICK" or milk. It is hysterical that he hears the k sound and clicks his little tongue. Once while in Poland I walked through a crazy little outdoor market and people were shouting at me as quickly as they could vying for my business and when Polish wasn't working they would try Russian or French or Lord knows what else. Dax Man does this too.... just shouts in Japanese and then smiles and giggles at his hysterical little self. He has a future career at National Geographic or producing mini-series for PBS with his linguistic skills.

Dax Man is also an honorary member of the Dairy Farmers of America. When in doubt, offer that boy "Gogi" - yogurt, "Gogis" -yogurt bites, "Cheez" of any variety and/or milk. He is a dairy farmer's dream and a walking cream stick, but oh, those bones are going to be hard to break... at least in theory.

Kaelster is starting up a little club called "The Sucker Society". He speaks of suckers randomly in the car while we travel, in his bedroom while he talks himself to sleep, and any time we enter any store. Last night through the sound waves of the monitor we heard him whispering sweet nothings about "Bwoo Suckas" "Ye woh Suckas" "Yed Suckas" "Geen Suckas". It was like he was counting sheep only he was listing his favorite flavors of sugar on a stick and where you can get said suckers... like "The Popcown Stow... otherwise known as Target... Bwu Sucka Tail (which is how he says his little name) Ye Woh sucka Daxi" or Costco... which is his favorite shopping establishment by far due to the spacious carts and free samples. No brainer.

Big K is also an aspiring member of "The World's Strongest Man" competition. As RyGar has stated, "He just likes to lift/throw shit." He will find the biggest paver in the yard. The largest rocks in rock gardens. The biggest box in the storage room. The heaviest bike in the shed and just push, heave and haul until there is movement. Then he grins, delivers a boisterous belly laugh and moves along. His pride is so dang adorable you just sit and wait for the next heavy object to be tossed by his big bear paws.

Both little buddies will soon be attending Christmas Addicts Anonymous. We still talk about "Pitty Yights" when we drive through the neighborhood after the sun goes to sleep. Then we list the colors of the pretty lights... bwoo, ye woh, poh poh (blue, yellow and purple). When the tree was up the little men would have to physically clasp their little hands together at any and all trees to keep themselves from ripping down every ornament on the evergreen. Balls were especially tough to resist because they're so darn throw-able, you know? And don't even get me started on the "andy" of the season. We thought we adored mini-candy canes, but then little pieces of the peppermint stuff were and still are found stuck to fleece jackets and pillows and such. Fantastic.

And Ace - well he is going to be the toughest, most unflappable little man in our household. He has been stepped on, flipped over, head-butted, knocked and "fed" and still that little boy smiles and coos at his rambunctious brothers. As my friend Ashley has always told me, "It is a freakin' miracle that any child with older siblings survives." The girl's got a valid point. Ace will probably make it through Special Ops training with minimal pain and no mental stresses whatsoever. An honorary Semper Fi is what that little babe is.

And a last honorable mention goes to me and RyGar - who pour milk by the gallon, buy suckers by the dozen and play defense around the babe whenever duty calls. We're currently wiping up runny noses with puffs plus because we're just that dang good, you know? That and the stream of snot is just that dang constant. TMI? Sorry.

Anyway, I agree that it is totally and unabashedly shameless to throw yourself your very own honorable mention... but it's Friday and no one else is gonna send me a hollah, so I feel that I can get away with such trickery....

Happy Weekend!