Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Radio Silence...

That's what we have going on here...  But at least it isn't the annoying sound of the Emergency Broadcast system test? 

We have been playing.  It looks a lot like sunny, loud, chaos-filled days across the greater portion of one of the greatest states I know. 

We're wrapping it up and then I'll have lots to tell and lots to show.  It will be a virtual show & tell love fest.

'Til then, enjoy the peace and quiet.  (We all know that RAREly happens around these parts!)


Sunday, July 28, 2013


He is FOUR.

I remember what it was like when he was my only baby and really, my whole world. Before he was old enough to resist being held by me. Before I knew what a kind, real, unapologetic, athletic, sensitive, inquisitive, mechanical and silly boy he would become. Oh, how I love, love, love him.

His birthday is and always will be the anniversary of my motherhood and the motherhood of one other very important person on this planet.  And it takes an incredibly special person to make two people mamas.  

His birth day is the date my life hit a fast forward button and everything started to be insanely wonderful at a rate that was so rapid it feels like I'm sinking at mach speed into a blissful vortex of time and information. I never knew this was motherhood--watching life disappear into happy memories at a swiftness you can't control. It's a rush of so many sorts.

I sat in church with Big K the other week.  Just the two of us, while his siblings slept and RyGar and I played the "tag you're it" for this hour of church game.  And he let me hold him and rock him... a rare bi-product of the late block of church meetings and long hours in the sun... And his long, lean, muscled, little man body was so different from the little lump of banana meat it was when he was a newborn just a minute ago.  He is SO big. And so sweet.  And learning so much it is astounding.  He has this "all business" voice that he reverts to when he is explaining something that just cracks me up and at the same time is so fitting for such a little MAN.  

I hate that "four" sounds so different than two or three.  You know?  Like, he's FOUR.  He's got only a whisper of toddler hood left in him and zero baby at all.  But I love that he loves to be the big brother.  And four or not... he will always be our baby that was the start of so many miracles for our family.  

And OH, do I love that baby!  Heavens above I am lucky to have that sweet cheeked, toe-headed boy in my life.  Who told me, with fervor, "NO CLOTHES for my birthday Mommy... and I get to pick my cake at the Walmart."  :)

So four... you may come and stay a while, and we'll just soak you in the best we possibly can... like, let you marinate in our bones... but know that you're going to get booted out eventually, and replaced by some other ridiculous & impossibly big number... that will be better fitting for our biggest boy, Mister Horsepower himself, Kael the Great and Powerful.

Love you Kaelster.  Always have, Always will. 
HAPPIEST of all Birthdays!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

A Disconnect...

This little one slays me.  
He is a record holder around these parts... LONGEST time ever to not realize he is perfectly capable of climbing out of his crib.  Or maybe he knows he can but he's just content laying down to rest his tired little body every afternoon and night?  If that's the case, 'Atta Boy, Acey.

And so, in pictures... the trek to get his beloved "Banket" & "Bee-sey".
(That's binkie for those of you unfamiliar with the language o' Acers.)

And then total discombobulation and the complete admittance of defeat after being placed in the crib.

Karma is gonna come get me in the nursing home when I'm older; I just know it.

But in my defense... It's equal parts amazing and cute.

Just so I don't tear up, Let's end on a happy note, shall we?

There we Be... All is Well.
Love you Baby Ace Face.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Mister Fix Its...

Probably the first thing you should know is that there is a lot of "fixin" goin' on around here.  Let me define that per the Gardner Family Dictionary...

Fixin' -  A verb:  The act or process of first damaging or breaking something, then reporting said bump or break.  Followed up with a proclamation of "Daddy will fix it", often times accompanied by a, "Sorry 'bout that."

Not high on my list, that fixin'.

It makes me feel like I should just proclaim it here to the world, "Hi, I'm Amber, a neurotic germ slayer, prodigious over exaggerator, sappy memory keeper, and, oh yeah, I have very little control over my kids at times.  Wanna be my friend?"

But then, on Sunday I made a killer batch of marshmallow brownies and ate them while my little nut jobs sang "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" in their little twin beds and things just literally sweetened right up.

That's how they get you, those little fixers... they push ALL your buttons at lightning speed and leave your head spinning.  Then when you think you're just gonna go "batshit crazy" at all of it, they throw you the sweetest curve ball you could never see coming.  Smart little buggers, yeah?

See this whole post is a complete dichotomy... crazy business, mingled with songs about Jesus and a little cuss word just to keep it all well-rounded.  That's our motto these days.

And so, to make it a complete hodge podge of random... here are some of my favorite quotes of late...

"Look, this Cheeto is a Seahorse!"  -Daximus.
Because no one else eats as slowly as Dax Man to notice such a thing.

"You're doing a bery good job Mommy.  I lub you."  -Dax Man, who pets my hair like a dog and throws out the most timely compliment a girl could ever receive.

"Mom, is this letter from Grampaire?"
- Hyper Consumer/Mail Collector, Kael... who now quotes Daniel Tiger like it ain't no thang.

"It's almost my birfday, Mom.  I want a scooter and a tractor wif a trailor and NO CLOTHES!" 
-Kaelster the Opinionated Birthday Boy... who may or may not have received clothes in birthdays past.

"Shake Yo Boody!"  -Ace the CONSTANT Dance Factor.
Baby's got moves you would marvel at.

"I Seeeeeee You" - Ace a' Spades.  Future horror film star.  He says that line like a total creep pro.

"My Tone, My TONE!"
-Ace the often overlooked baby brother who desperately needs a turn.

And finally, "Mom, you wanna drop me off at DI today, huh?"  
Sometimes little Man.  Sometimes.

Onward and Upward Week...
Onward and Upward.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Puppy Dog Tails...

Had you asked me on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday of this week if I wanted another baby boy, I would have laughed in your face.  Nay, guffawed.  Like, "Belly laugh, are you kidding me, that's the most hilarious thing you've ever said", laughed.

See, the first three days of this week were designated, for some unknown reason, as the "Let's gang up on Mom and act like a trio of tiny holy terrors days."  The little men in this house were terribly naughty from sun up to sun down regardless of my attempts to raise them up to be right gentlemen.  I think it may have been a national holiday in the toddler world, because according to my sister-in-laws, from two very different geographic locations... the celebration was carried on in full force in their neck of the woods too.

Regardless, I'm sure the epicenter was right smack dab in the middle of our home... so they must have been feeling aftershocks?  It was a complete "summer shenanigans storm" is what it was.

I did this to myself, you know.  I have a soft spot for stubborn & mischievous ones.

No lie, in those years of wishing, praying, hoping for babies... I told Ryan countless times, "Don't you just want a little blonde Dennis the Menace or three?"  He would laugh at me and I'd carry on envisioning silly little antics of the most menacing little toe-headed boys.

Funny thing... he's still laughing at me.  Careful what you wish for... as they say.

SO - let's arrive at Thursday.  Which, in my book, is the official gateway to the weekend.  And maybe its me calming down and putting away the astounding piles of clean laundry and readying myself to welcome a second pair of hands during the weekend days ahead for an out-of-the ordinary adventure with the whole family.  But seriously, we started out cool and collected and downright adorable in every way.  So, TGI...Thursday.

We went to my sister's house to see the puppies.  OH.THE.PUPPIES!  I cannot tell you how cute they are.  But seriously, to attempt to convey the cuteness of my little men snuggling the adorable little pups, would be completely futile.  Words do not suffice.  Those boys... those little trouble-making characters, they are every beat in my heart, I tell you.

Which leaves me back at square one.  Wishing, Praying, Hoping for little blonde Dennis the Menace's times a dozen.
OK, maybe half a dozen?

Snips & Snails & Puppy Dog Tails and a big ole' Geez Louise... I am in love with this motley little crew of men.  And who knows, maybe I'll take a puppy while I'm feelin' the love?  Nah... I'll just call my boyfriend for a hot Friday night date is what I'll do.  :)
Happy weekend to you & you.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Summer Rain...

Is there anything better than a summer rain storm?  

The smell.  The cool drops on the hot pavement.  The sensation of bare feet in puddles.  The smell.  Even the dirtiest days feel fresher and cleaner after a rain storm. 

Rain + Storm Drain?
Oh Yes, that's definitely better than just a summer rain.

 Just ask these little weathermen.  All day long they told me,
"Yook in the sky... there are yots of cwouds.  It's probwy gonna rain today."

And the best thing to do when it's raining?

Is let it rain, baby.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Patty Cake...

Over the weekend we had cake.
And ate it too...

In honor of the sweetest little 97-Year-Old "Grandpa Great" you'll ever meet with the biggest family tree you could ever fathom.

These two little toe-headed boys of ours are great grand-babies number ninety-seven and ninety-nine
(or some ridiculously high numbers that are fairly close to that...) 

For the record, Dax likes his cake with a side of grass.

Kael likes his frosting without a side of cake.
Followed by a second helping.

And little man Friday, who prefers to eat his cake animal style, is great-grandbaby number one hundred seventeen...or thereabouts... I mean, can you even imagine?

Grandpa Great... we adore you!

Here's lookin' at you kid.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

On the Pontoon...

We made it out.
The boat is no longer virgin to the summer waters.

And guess who got to ski on the best water of the day?
Oh yeah, no one, because it's all relative when you're floating on Utah Lake.
But nevertheless, God was smiling down on us and gave us blue skies and warm sun in between the summer rains we've been having.

So here's what I was thinking out there while I pontificated from my windy vinyl perch...
And believe me, I know this is a lot of over thinking the whole boating experience but let's go with it.

-Boats are awesome.

-Kids on boats are awesome {mostly}
Introducing Daxi's new "Funny Face"... I heart it.

-Boat food is awesome.

-Bobbing in the water in a floatation device is awesome.

-Watching little tikes pee off the back of the boat and giggle themselves silly is awesome.

-Water skiing is awesome (way more awesome than wake boarding... that should totally be noted)

-All girls should steer clear of red one piece swimsuits unless they want to conjure up a comparison of their chesticles to Pamela Anderson's chesticles... not awesome.
-Good thing I'm a wild woman and wear a two piece.  My mama taught me right...

-There is an immense war of wills when your littlest feels that as the newest member of the crew he should be the Captain of the ship.  He did NOT want to be told he had to get out of the water.  We should have left him bobbing around like a tiny buoy.  It would have been easier. 

-Boat hair blows... both literally and literally.
But check out Grandmas!  I adore it. :)

-Regardless of the sport, you feel like a young, wild thing when you pick right back up where you left off at the end of last season and pop up on your first shot on your slalom ski.  It's a superficial little boost to the ego.

-Driving a boat is way harder than it looks.  And I am not awesome at it.
But check out our flagger?  All Bid-Ness.  Rad.

-RyGar is awesome at boat driving.  I am confident he will buy an incredibly awesome boat with perfect pass in the future so that his "other" boat driver will be more awesome.

-I am, however, an awesome trailer backer-upper.  And that is a talent.  Nay - a skill that few possess.

-Boats are a lot of work.  And I loathe the prep it takes to get out on the water.  But every single time we go I end up grinning from ear-to-ear, feeling so glad that we took the time to make it happen.

-When you go boating with two three-year-olds and a one-year-old... you need assistance.  Aunts & Grandmas are awesome.  Aunts & Grandmas that snap photos and hold snugly little towel wrapped babies are totally awesome.

-I am going to invent sunglasses that have an alarm that goes off if it senses you are about to dive into the water whilst wearing said sunglasses.  I can't tell you how many pair I have lost.  RIP sunglasses.  If I want to look on the bright side I tell myself that is a testament to how comfy Smith Sunnies really are... they're so comfy I forget they're there.  Dang, how do I get a blog where I get paid or gifted products for  my amazing endorsements?  I need to know because between Sonic and Smith Sunglasses - I'd be livin' large.  :)

See?  I've delved way too deep into the waves of thought brought on by boat ownership.  Or maybe I've been exposed to too much sun?  Or maybe it's dehydration?  Regardless... I'll be makin' waves and catchin' rays again, soon... On the pontoon.

{Or our elderly red and white Bayliner.}
Details... Shmetails.