A Baseball Analogy...

I was outside in the sun (blessed sun) with some of my neighbors this week and like the Rookie that I am, I asked how you move a champion toddler sleeper from a crib to a bed. I soaked in their wise owl words and have been simmering on their suggestions ever since - dreading this "big boy right of passage" that is inevitable and in our very near future. Then I said, "Maybe I'll just get another crib." And the truth is that I was only half joking because I have this weird parenting guilt already for little man numero three who will be the only Gardner babe that doesn't get a brand new crib and nursery.

And suddenly, I have a full-on case of "pre-game jitters" about our growing Gardner clan. Isn't it strange the things we put ourselves through as parents? Our new little lamb will never care about a new crib, but me, I carry around this guilt like a ton of bricks. And Kaelster, he'll move to a big boy bed eventually and when he's a grown man he won't even have a single memory of it; but I will. And Dax-Man... will he feel any "middle child angst" as he is sandwiched between a big and little brother? And what can we do to alleviate that?

It's gotta be that this week's doctor's visit confirmed we are 24-weeks into this pregnancy. More than half way done... How did that happen?

And I guess we're all allowed a little bit of parenting guilt and questioning and worrying about whether or not we're doing it all right. But I am slowing learning that THAT is a collosal waste of time because, speaking only for myself, A) I'll never get it perfect. B) I'll do a trillion things that are fine and good and just right, and C) I'm bound to screw up a bunch of times too. Sadly and beautifully, there is no rule book, and no such thing as a perfect play in this game. So I guess that is what I've come to... to trust my Rookie instincts and do what I think is best as these little gents' mama and to pray - A LOT. Because I will soon have three little warriors to tend to and not even three years worth of experience in "the big leagues" to draw upon.

Ryan's Grandma had four babies in four years and she tells me that there is magic in building a family "fast and furious" style. And that, "They all kind of help raise one another and they are the best of friends for life."

Promise, Grandma? No crossies count...

And I guess I can say that we've worked through every rough inning and curve ball that parenthood has thrown at us thus far. A fact that I am totally and unabashedly proud of - deserving or not. And look at 'em... our babies... smilin' like this is the most fun they've ever had. Because really - it is fun. It's damn fun and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Nothing.

And it's like a random passer-by told me, "Enjoy it, Honey. You're too busy right now to even realize how blissfully happy you are."

Thanks for the pep-talk, Coach...

And for the record, I catch a few glimpses of our blissful state... here and there. :)