Sap, Sap, Sappy x Four...

This is the beginning of another sappy post. I know, I thought I could be silly and sarcastic after my last little soul-bearing experience, but turns out, sista's on a bit of a bender. And it probably has something to do with the fact that my baby, my little newbie, who just days ago made his grand appearance... is four-months old.

Seriously?

If I knew that time was going to fly at a speed I cannot comprehend I would hold that little body all day and breathe him in and study his blue almond eyes and his chubby cheeks and his baby-ness. I would smell him, kiss him, rock him forever to just cling to that pure love that babies bring to a family.

But the thing is, I have other babies that I divvy my time with. And I adore the silly things they say and the little expressions of love that they have developed individually. And if you asked me, I couldn't tell you if I prefer babyhood over toddlerhood. They too are growing up at mach speed right before my very eyes. So I sweat to fit in playing blocks and pitching tents and taking trips to the mailbox in the snow. It thrills me. It elates me. And it makes me sad.

I am on an emotional doozie currently. One where I am weeding out linen closets and rearranging toy rooms and then having goal-oriented, life conversations with my RyGar (which are probably sheer pain for the poor guy). Call it the effect of a new year and the blue month of January or just call it crazy. It is sorta drama queen-esque of me, I get it, but this is who I am. I can fully soak in a happy moment, spread the word with a giddy smile that Junior Mints are available in a heart shaped version for Valentine's day and flip a cartwheel and be carefree and impulsive over something like finding "Money Ball" in RedBox on a Friday evening. But, oh, can sista be thoughtful, introspective and apt to write a life thesis out of the clear blue sky.

Which is why our little family came in the fashion it came in, I'm sure. I needed to do it full-on, "balls to the wall" (pardon the expression, Mama). Because I like a challenge. I like to aspire to do better. And mostly I like to have me a posse of little people that are ready for some plain old childish fun but will also provoke thought and assessment about where we are and how we're doing.

You might think I'm knee deep in a weird little slump. I'm not. Just experiencing one of the "deeper moments" and not so much a "round-off back handspring moment".

Which you have to like. Because in all things you need a little balance. My scales are just currently evening their little selves out.

So, back to my four-month-old angel. I love that when he smiles his whole entire body grins. It isn't just a smile with his little lips, oh no, it's his arms and hands and hairline and cheeks and legs and eyes... oh it is yummy. Which leads me to believe that he, along with his brothers, will live a "Cartwheel Happy" life. And I hope that they will sprinkle it with some moments of deep gratitude and planning and thought so that they'll have perspective too. Perspective that will make them appreciate where they are, where they came from, and who they want to be.

Oh, and how they want their linen closets to be arranged. :)

And before I go on some other rant, I shall pause and put a period on this long and drawn out sentence...

Happy Four Months, Little Ace.

We love you like crazy.

You have officially made ours a loaded deck!