Don't ev-AH get out a fresh new four-pack of Magic Erasers to wipe down some "marks" on your bathroom door at 10 pm. Geez, why couldn't someone have warned me that I'd be on a past-midnight erasing binge? And what exactly is a Magic Eraser made of? I smell carcinogens?
Probably if I ever get invited to participate on Dancing With the Stars, I will decline if a former gold medal gymnast is also a member of the cast. Holy LSJ (Little Shawn Johnson)!!!
If you happen to get the opportunity to go to the grocery store with none of your little cutie pies - you will, in fact, get options for front row parking and you will magically walk up to a checker who is just dying to ring you up with no line whatsoever. What IS that?
The longer you spend preparing dinner, the less likely it is to be happily consumed by your adoring family. What is THAT?
If your husband lengthens the hose on your expandable kitchen faucet and you run down to his office to kiss him with gratitude, he mysteriously does not notice the bubble gum pink lipstick all over his face and he just grins like a cute amateur plumber.
The very best way to settle in for a fall night is with a caramel apple. If you want, you could add a mug of hot chocolate with a restaurant-like, artistic heap of Redi Whip. Yep, I said HEAP. And if you come out "uneven" (a scientific term I learned from Uncle Ray) your hand is forced and you have to reapply a fresh mound of Redi Whip until the ratios are just right.
If you just cleaned your glass doors like a pro - we're talking squeegee here folks - then the darling neighbor boy will synchronously be teaching your little loves the BYU cheer and they will come running to practice on said glass door with their little sidewalk chalk covered paws.
Guess what I found in the great seasonal closet clothes swap of fall 2012? One skinny red belt and my long lost leopard print Michael Kors hair calf belt which is one of the few fancy things I own. When you're feeling a little fumptastic, pull out a leopard print belt and loop up sista. All will be better within moments.
I think that we'll call that a wrap... one can only digest so many crazy deep life lessons at one sitting. Am I right?
Happy Happy Hump Day.
xoxo
1 comment:
bahahah, you are killing me, with all 5 posts i just read. ace and dax together? i thought it was kael and dax? no? ryan and dax working side by side solving the worlds problems via the internet. kael and his shark-a-tude! ace eating cheetos and nerds off the floor. I could go on, because your posts go on and on and i can keep up but i want to because i LMFAO every time i read one of them.
in a nut shell...you rock and i heart you!
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