Heinous...

That's what the other morning was.  H-E-I-N-O-U-S.  Good "Lawd have Mer-SAY" on me.

I woke up hell bent to clean all the bathrooms in the house and to "go deep"... I'm talking, cold air returns, baseboards, the toilet paper holders where the little fluff from the TP gathers, you know?  You name it, I was going to be able to see my reflection in the water of those porcelain fixtures and be grinning from ear-to-ear somewhat high on Lysol fumes.

So... I did what every awesome mother does.  I prepped juice cups and snack bags and started The Letter Factory DVD for the littles up in the play room and shut the gate.  And I ran back down the stairs to begin scrubbing.

Do take note that Acey has climbed higher than any baby his age should evah climb...

 I'm doomed with that little mountain goat, I tell you.

Turns out, my little geniuses have LOTS of brains in those heads and six little feet in their shoes and they were determined to steer themselves in the very direction they choosed.  (Go with that grammatical error for the sake of the rhyme, Okey Dokey?)  After they had scattered the entire contents of the play room from Hell to Breakfast, those little smarty pants' stacked chairs atop tractors atop who knows what else and heisted one another over the gate and off to have a bro par-TAY.  

On the party agenda was, almost entirely emptying the meat freezer downstairs just for kicks.  Then emptying all wipes from the Clorox Wipes canisters in the cleaning supply closet... yep, all three of them.  Then nearly flooding the kitchen as they used the wicked cool faucet in spray mode to make it rain as they sung the "Raindrops Song" and giggled like hyenas... which ultimately was their demise and Acey's mid-day shower.  I do believe I've mentioned that Kaelster has one laugh volume...
Freakin' LOUD.

When I came running in to the kitchen to see what in the world was so funny and who and how they had clambered down from their little play room prison of sorts.... I nearly died.  And my scavenger hunt to discover what other little stunts they pulled was kick started by a clue I got from Ace a' Spades in the form of him gnawing on a pack of frozen venison courtesy of the freezer fiasco.

Hence, I spent the next block of time cleaning up what was the aftermath of my initial cleaning mission.    I do believe I then texted RyGar and a few friends that would totally know the feeling and I asked each of them to please, "Kill me now," or something equally dramatic.

Why does five minutes of unsupervised time equal a house destroyed?  Why?  WHY?!

Perhaps to remind me that perfect is boring.  Perhaps to remind me that for TEN years of my life I prayed for a little Dennis the Menace or three that would have mischief in his eyes and would keep me entertained and on my toes.  Perhaps to teach me patience and priorities.  Perhaps to help me really earn my spot in the Heavens, which as my friend Lisa said, "Had better have a special place for mamas of little boys that includes some sort of 24-hour spa."  Perhaps so I could literally laugh at my definition of the word, "heinous" and realize that my sweet little life is the farthest thing from it, messes and all.

But, oh yeah, their Halloween costumes are oh so fitting.  

And that, is a foreshadowing of things to come very soon.  :)

Happy non-heinous weekend, to you and you and you.