Little Letters of Summer...

Dear City Officials - I pray that never ever do you get sued by some malicious parent over an accident at your FREE splash park. Your idea was genius and we visit your flowing waters often. AND we pay a premium to the city every dang month to live here with our free splash park and our running trails, so really, if you do get sued, your legal fees should be covered. Just clarifying - A Responsible Citizen.

Dear Nordstroms - While I appreciate that I once was a valued and loyal customer - I am that no longer. You can stop sending me the "Preview Sale" catalogues and the "Anniversary Sale" fliers... they just make me feel a shade or twelve LESS cool than I already am.

Dear Humidity - I loathe you. I do not live in the Southeast for a reason. I am a desert rat and I like my heat hot and dry. Besides, my hair is doing funky things because of you and let's face it - thanks to the prenatal vitamins, the hair is one of the few things I have going for me at the moment. Please go away.

Dear Illegal Turned Legal Fireworks - Do you even know the joy you have brought to our home? We all know that July is a month for men... filled with BBQs and Fireworks for little pyros in grown-up bodies. You make my husband, my dad, my brother and my baby boys completely giddy. They enjoy "blowing stuff up" with you under the pretense of "duty" - like taking care of that hornet's nest in the basketball standard. Now if only they can "ration" a few of you for New Years. P.S. It is looking doubtful.

Dear African Ice - Thanks to the family chain of communication I learned of you from my niece in London through my SIL that you exist in my hood. I once was addicted to the snowy shaved ice version of you called "Bahama Bucks" in my beloved Arizona. Now that I have found you - I adore you - just as much - if not more than BB. You are the best and your free cream on any snowy is just plain genius.

Dear Jeans - I love that you are trending to other things and our options are not solely skinny. Wide Leg Jeans = Happy Women with Hips of America. Course - I need a couple of months to get into mine, but I can't wait to put on some jeans with a little flare and some heeled clogs. I am officially stickin' it to the skinners. Let's hear an "AMEN" sistas!

Dear Babies - I adore you in every way. I love every single part of you. But I am worried that you are both turning into exhibitionists or future nudists. Clothes are not your enemy. You look freakin' adorable in whatever we put on you AND we have paid good cash to ensure you have nice wardrobes. Let's embrace our threads, babies. Thank you.

Dear DVR - You are SO not earning your keep at the moment. I feel like I should cancel you completely until the fall sweeps come back. There is not ONE THING on my DVR list that is recording. How sad is that? And yes, I know that summer is the time for lounging at pools and playing outdoors - which we do - but only until bedtime which is 8 pm. What am I supposed to do every night after that? Yours Truly - Addicted.

Dear "So You Think You Can Dance" - I lied. My DVR totally recorded you and I watched you last night and I now think I can not, nor could I ever dance. How is it that the competitors keep getting better, more amazingly talented and basically awesomely bendy? I am in serious awe.

Dear RyGar - Have I told you how much I'm looking forward to our weekend getaway? If I failed to mention it - just know that at times it is the thing that I wistfully day dream about that gets me through emptying diaper pails and mopping floors. I can't wait - and it ain't a trip to the islands - but it'll do until I'm back in bikini shape. Thanks! :)