Kindness is Cool...

Tragedy is zooming in all around us at lightning speed.  I hate turning on the news and listening to all the woes of the world.  I much prefer to live in a bubble and put up blinders and ear muffs so I can "see no evil, hear no evil".

I've said it over and over again - time to flee to the mountains.  And part of me means it in the very innocent desire to keep those I love close to me and safe like a mother hen.  But the other part of me, the logical part, knows we have to have a full mortal experience and surround ourselves with other members of the human race to learn and grow to our fullest.  But with that comes inherent risk. People do not equal safety.  In fact, in today's bustling world full of people, you might say I'm a mama deer - skittish in the crowds and eager to nestle down and stay in the fringe until the crowd dissipates and the danger is less obtrusive.

I don't like raising my babies in a world full of evil.  I don't like feeling unsafe.  I trust my instincts, I'm prepared for lots of disasters, but I don't go out into the crowd seeking after them.  And my heart aches for those that have kissed their little loves good bye, and sent them off to school, only to wonder if they are whole and well mid-day in the midst of another tragedy.

It's a spiraling jetty I could easily get sucked into and end up at the bottom of hopeless and confused.  BUT instead, we've been focusing on the four little humans we can influence directly and regularly... as we implement the world's biggest weapon of defense.... KINDNESS.  

Lately we've been holding weekly family home evenings that focus on kindness and gratitude.  We share a story.... talk about it.... practice things to say in certain situations and print off a saying or a "mantra" to look at for the week on their bathroom mirror.  All this in a renewed effort to raise upstanding citizens... and not just "rule abiders who are successful", but boys & men that will lead others by example and influence for the good and put a stop to things that are wrong.

I'm amazed at what it has done in the short time we've been doing it.  I mean, do they still occasionally slug one another "just because"?  Yes.  They're little dudes, after all, but I have noticed some changes in demeanor.  Some thoughtful comments.  Some caring words.  Little things that have sprouted up in the middle of the things we're trying to grow up to be good here in the Gardner house.

And it's worth it.  

Hard.

But worth it.

My biggest challenge is that all important balancing act with boys.... teaching kindness and being the bigger person AND embracing their inherent competitive edge, their desire to win, their alpha dog attitudes that will inevitably serve them well.  We're mindful of our huge role to raise future leaders.  We're flubbing it up along the way and reversing and trying again.  But we're consciously trying and being deliberate.

All that to say... send us your best words of wisdom and your greatest advice for a couple of parents, sans parenting manual, who want to get it right for the sake of their kiddos and, you know, the world.

No pressure.  :)

This week's words?  

"Do the right thing, even when no one is looking."

XO Little Gents.