Sometimes I Run Away...

Sometimes you need to shake things up. You need to shock the system. You need to defibrillate your life to see those jagged little lines on the monitor that indicate a strong and steady heart beat.

Our collective rhythm had a significant jump this week and is now holding firm 

at about 60 bpms.

This week with barely any forethought or planning at all, the littles and I flew south for a bit to splash and swim and play in the sun before the calendar officially reads fall and our big boy starts preschool.  AGH - I know, PRESCHOOL!

Rygar, ever the trusty partner, told us to "have fun and be good" and kissed us after tightening car seat restraints and checking tire pressure. He's a safety kid from way back but he is also our biggest advocate of fun. And, truth be told, I was needing a shove in that direction.

We swam.  We shopped.  We ate out.  We took evening wiggle bike rides.  We tried out new splash parks.  We experienced new play grounds.  We chased lizards.  We generally lived out loud with one another... and I mean it.  LOUD.

Every single day I had moments when I wondered "what was I thinking" doing this alone. The glances I caught at the mall when I had all three of my little toe heads all jimmy rigged into a white trash bus of sorts?  Ah well, I'm getting used to the stares that our little circus invites... they usually bring on smiles.  And besides, every day I had those delicious "melt your heart mama moments" when I was so glad that I did it. Like these...

Dax man saw Jesus at the gas station. Yes, clear as day he plopped his Butterfinger on the counter, pointed at the long haired bearded attendant and said, "Hi Jesus".  Snot came out of my nostrils involuntarily.  I mean... what do you say? It was hilarious.

Kaelster touched a cactus. This is not the first time. I can't imagine what he will do when he finally gets a slightly loose tooth. Yes, Kaelster kind of likes that "hurt so good" feeling.  He likes telling everyone about it even more in his very animated way.

Ace waded the river. Seriously one minute he was in the stroller and the next he was in the water just stink buggin' around with the big kids. I realize that makes me sound like a vigilant champ of a mom.  But seriously, little man decided he could hang with the big boys fo sho this week and he is keeping me on my toes.  My baby who is almost a year old?  Sheesh.  

My babies are growing up. It is obnoxious how fast it is happening and this sappy mama needed some time with her "few good men" all to herself before little friends and teachers start to have more and more impact and horizons expand beyond the walls of our home. 

I needed to give a good old fashioned "neener neener" to real life while I still can and so I swooped my little gaggle of guys under my wing and swam away to hide in the saw grass while the man of the house held down the fort and worked his tail off to make our life happy and comfy and fun.

I get that new beginnings are exciting and needed for growth and I will welcome them and embrace them. I will!  But I will maintain 'til the day I die that lazy Sunday drives with the fam and impromptu road trips with mom and soccer games with dad are what make change manageable for everyone involved.  These little moments comprised of nothing; they are like mortar holding brick walls together.  And me?  I don't go shy on mortar.  

I don't know how to sum up.  I guess my heart just sometimes hurts loving these little amazing men of mine.  And the big amazing man of mine.  I know that looming change will always be a part of our life.  I know that character is built in those uncomfortable moments when we have to do something unknown all alone and recognize our strength...

Like taking a road trip with babies.  Or going to preschool for the very first time ever.  Or meeting JC.  Or wading a river.  :)

Ah Touché.