Oh Boy - Be Warned...

I thought I'd write a little warning for my sister who will soon host her first "little boy" sleep over.  My sister is the mama to two docile, lovely, little ladies, so sending one of my little men over for a night will definitely be something new for her.  And them.  And me.  OK, ENTIRELY new experience all the way around...

Warning 1.  

Boys GO.  From the moment they come bouncing in to your bedroom at 7:00 am to the moment they pass out at bedtime, boys have two speeds.... fast and faster.  They will indeed summit your dining room table, turn on the hose before you even know they went outside & cause your heart to stop as they dart ahead on the sidewalk barely missing people and trees.   Boys will never slow down as much as you plead, so you'll just have to learn to pick up the pace.  Lace up, Sister Sue.  :)

Warning 2.  

Boys are Physical.  There's the jumping off furniture, the rolling on to friends and family, the "hug" that turns into a full-body running tackle, and oh so much more.  Play fighting and actual rough housing is totally hard wired and as far as I can tell, it's how they connect to those around them and express affection.  So, when he takes you out at the knees, just feel the love.

Warning 3.  

Pee will be Everywhere.  Everywhere.  On the floor.  Behind the toilet.  On the wall.  All over the seat he was just way too busy to lift up.  Apparently it takes a great deal of time and attention to not spray the entire bathroom while urinating.  On the bright side, unless there's poop involved, they won't even need an actual toilet.  In fact, boys prefer to pee behind a tree in the park or on your tires in the driveway and don't ask how I know, but this applies to grown men too.  Just ask your husband.  He might fess up.

Warning 4.  

There will be a rip through the knees of any given pair of pants at any given moment.  Khakis, jeans, and yes, even pajamas.  I still don't know how it happens, but it does.  And just know that I packed the newest sneakers they own and I'm sure the treads will be flattened in a matter of days.  There will also be grass stains, mud stains, spaghetti stains, paint stains and unidentifiable stains.  So... dawn your stain stick, lovey. 

  

Warning 5.

Boys?  Boys love their mamas.  And mamas?  They love their boys.  So if there is a little moment of tears and concern... just wrap them in your mama arms and tell them I will be back.  Then distract them with a toy that makes farting noises, a live animal (preferably a dog) or any piece of candy... and you should be good to go.

Oh... and kiss those stinkin' cheeks for this mama.  That part's easy peasy - unless you can't get them to slow to a complete stop... 

And as mentioned above... I totally get that.  :)