Mind Games...

I'm always talking to RyGar about how powerful the mind is... particularly mine. No kidding, I've envisioned this ridiculously fortunate life of ours for years and with that kind of focus (or sheer stubborn will), the grace of God, and some hard work along the way, here we are... living the dream. And I have a huge attitude of gratitude for this blessed life of ours.

But, lest ye think I am about to get carried away into the land of unicorns, rainbows and roses (yet again)... feast your eyes on these... the highlights of the annual girls' home show trip in not so sunny St. George.

Let me throw a huge shout of thanks out to my man, RyGar, who wrestled the babes by himself all weekend so mama could have her first official get away sans boys. I actually think he hugged me tighter and shed a little tear of joy upon my arrival home... ain't it nice to be appreciated?! And a big kiss to our mamas... one who hosted me at the Home Show and the other who was basically "Meals on Wheels" here for the boys... you didn't really think he did it ALL by himself did you? :)

And a little HOO-Rah to my sista, because there are only a few people in this world that I can get caught in a fit of giggles with that will bring me to a stomach ache and tears. We had our giggle fit full on at Outback Steakhouse and both of us were bawling and my Mom was mystified as to what was so funny. Honestly, Mom - we were too. Just one of those punchy little moments that you have to document.

In summary, there is a section of my mind that has zoned in on a few features of these amazing homes... and I remind you... the mind is a powerful, powerful thing. :)

Flyin' the Coop...

I feel a little bit like a traitor. I don't know if that is normal or not, but it is what it is. I am leaving the nest for a girls weekend - no boys allowed. :)

I think the grand total of nights spent without Kaelster in his entire 19-Months is three, and one of those was in the hospital when Dax came along.

As for Dax-Man, well, this will be a first. And I know it will be good for me to stretch my own atrophied wings and fly solo for a while - and I'm stoked - REALLY - It'll be fun - to just be Amber - with the girls - shopping and eating and talking non-stop. So don't think I am pathetic for being a little apprehensive and introspective about the whole ordeal. Promise?

OK, now that I have your word...

In preparation for the baby-less weekend, I'm posting some cute pictures of my little dudes. Mostly because I know my internal Mommy alarm clock will go off at seven a.m. and I'll be killin' time in the lobby of the hotel until about nine when my sister finally wakes up... it'll help to adore them from afar in the morning hours. And also, because lately, I laugh and think it is kind of amazing how many people ask me if they're twins when I dress them in matching or coordinating duds. Really?

I have purchased all their favorite foods and snacks and juices including some good stuff for my "big boy". RyGar will have it made as he camps out in his fully stocked casa with his little minis for a few days. And don't tell him I said so, but I think he's pretty excited about his little Bachelor party without me. :)

And I am too. Excited to miss them. Weird as that sounds. Excited to call them each night and talk to them on the phone. Excited to have Ry on clean-up duty as opposed to yours truly.

So that's it. I'm out.

Happy weekending...

From the one that got away. :)

The Massive Swap...

I am in the midst of a disaster.

I hate it when the time comes to switch out baby clothes for the next sizes up. My little Dax Man can no longer be crammed into his 12-month jammies (so why I still have six and nine months duds in his dresser is a mystery). He is such a long thing that his toes are going to bust through the little seams of the feet if I don't make a change. And I have one thing to say about that.... "SNIFFLE"... OK, two things.... "TEAR".

I hate that my little babes are getting big. I mean, look at those two tall drinks o' water!

I hate it! But then, I love it too.

Because today, guess what Kaelster did after he went down the slide at the mall 1500 times? He ran along side the stroller and blew kisses to everyone he saw. Toddler time is an undeniably adorable phase. He also rolled his eyes for the first time in his life and I'm pretty sure that is some sort of record. He isn't quite 19-months... what is that about?

Anyway, wish me luck as I fold and pack and swap and hang and otherwise reorganize what seems to be a billion little man shirts and pants and PJs. I'll need it.

On the bright side... I'm pulling out some stellar little summer duds. Ahhhh, preppy little man shorts and polo shirts and sandals. Why don't I live in Hawaii? No seriously, is there a reason? I think I'll broach that topic with RyGar this evening. :)

Manic Monday...

I was having a little moment today. Poor me, my hubby is gone and I need a nap and my floors are dirty and the laundry needs to be done. Waa Waa - Cry me a River, Right? I'm so unique. I'll simply refer to my little pity party as "A Little Case of the Mondays". And then, Mama Bear came through in her typical way with one of her emails and I felt like I got a well-deserved kick in the pants. So here it is for you, in the event that you need a swift kick to the rear too.

{May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.}

Feel better now? Me too.

And a dose of baby grins and chunky thighs always heals as well, right?

Manic Monday - Be Gone with you. :)

Kamikaze Kael

The spring-like weather entranced us this week and I felt like we should run around in our short-sleeves to the park every day. It wasn't really that warm, but you know how you get after freezing temps... the 50s feel like July.

Anyway, I decided to take my little men to the pond to feed the ducks. There is a small portion of the pond that remains unfrozen, and the ducks were all congregated waiting for us to share our bounty with them.

I had Dax Man in the umbrella stroller and Big K was running by my side. I parked the stroller and said to Kaelster... "One minute, Mommy needs to put a blankie on Dax."

Next thing I know I hear water splashing and a flock of ducks going crazy and I turn to see my Kaelster lunging into the water after his feathered friends. There are two great loves in Kael's life right now... water and animals. So, though I thought as I was running toward my little swimmer, that he would be deterred by the icy water, I was wrong. The little dare devil was fully submerged up to his waste in water before I got to him and dragged him out.

As I was carrying him up the bank toward Dax, both of us wet and muddy, he kept looking at me and grinning as if to say, "That was awesome." And dang it - I couldn't help smiling back. He was so proud of his near capture. And Dax watched the entire thing from the top of the bank and was grinning at his wild and amazing brother.

In summary, I'm doomed.

But then again, so are the ducks. :)

Entrapment...

Remember that show with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sean Connery where they're thieves and she practices making her way through the maze of laser beams all seductive and bendy-like?

If not, never fear, RyGar remembers it for you... :)

Anywho...

This is Dax's favorite game.

Here is our Little Mighty making his way through the maze of chair beams to fetch "the prize", his beloved ball. He even pops his little hind end in the air and plants his kisser to the ground if that's what it takes.

This activity is repeated daily and sometimes our little contortionist finds himself suspended in the air between cross bars.

He's nuts.

Cute as Can Be... but Nuts.

Good thing his brother has developed a little trait I call OCD.

The floors are nearly always sparkling clean.

I am beaming with pride. :)

Little man is such a good helper. He mops the floor like a champ after every meal.

Soon I'm just gonna kick my feet up and watch Soaps all day... :)

Don't be jeal - he'll mop your floors too cause he's just that full of energy.

Reunion...

My family has these little get-togethers occasionally and they always have a name. This one was called, (huge breath) "Albrecht Family Logan Winter Reunion 2011". And that pretty much sums it up, eh... it might also sum up our creativity. Wow.

My parents took us to the Hardware Ranch and Heaven was on our side because it was the most beautiful, sunny day ever! I had come prepared with snowsuits, hats, gloves and other swaddling material, but alas, the day was gorg and we ended up stripping layers to ride around on our sleigh to see the "EK" as Kael calls them in our jackets. It was a little rough trying to convince my boys that they could only watch the action from the confines of the sleigh. Once again, Gerber Cheetos to the rescue and no elk were harmed during our visit. Traumatized by the volume, perhaps.

Next up... gourmet dinner at my bro's house (ladies, he cooks - could you just slap his cute little wife silly? OK, maybe that's just me.) Anyway, together they made a delish meal and we frosted Grandma's Valentine Sugar Cookies and then we all walked down the hill to the Aggies BBall game. Where, if you've never been, you wouldn't know of the incredibly dedicated fans with their wickedly nasty, rude cheers. I felt left out because I didn't know all the words, but I loved it nonetheless.

Swimming at the hotel thoroughly exhausted our little brood and then Sunday morning we all had breakfast at Angies. It's where the locals eat. And it's delish and loud and smells like bacon.

And in a nutshell, that is another Albrecht Fam Reunion in the books. We love 'em. They're wild and loud and quick and dirty. We laugh, we eat, we play and we joke.

I heart my family. Every crazy outlaw member. Smooch.

Perhaps...

I got a little carried away.

Sometimes I just can't help myself.

It's these little Love Bugs...

They can really get to a girl.

I love me some cheeks & chub-en-tines...

And some little hoarders of the sweet stuff.

My little lady slayers & I signing out and...

Wishing ya'll a happy LOVE Day!

The Eleven Step Program...

11 Step Program for Those Thinking of Having Kids....

This is LONG-O badongo but, oh so hilarious. Thanks to my Bro-in-Law for sending this our way. Ry and I waited so long for our own little munchkins to join our family - we really should have been making progress on this program because training would have been hella helpful... Just Sayin'. :)

Read on - and Happy Weekend...

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

IFF and only if you complete all eleven tasks and still yearn for children.... breed on. You're set.

Wardrobe Malfunction...

So guess what? My wardrobe has changed. Despite the many hours I have watched other Mom’s on “What Not to Wear” defend their changes in style due to their new found motherly duties and swearing it wouldn’t happen to me. It has happened.

Just today I was flipping through a new Boston Proper magazine that came in the mail and it was full of delicious spring things that I adored and then I actually edited my wish list like this,

Holy Fetch. Look at those white jeans and that black silk top. LOVE! Earmark this page. Wait. White jeans. NO, they would remain white until I removed them from the UPS plastic packaging that they were shipped to me in and then they would never be white again. Black silk top. NO. Goobers are attracted to black like metal to magnets and they show up within two minutes of serving breakfast at this house. I don’t know how. I can’t explain it, other than to say, black is no longer my mainstay and dang, I have a lot of it.

Gorg dangly bronze and turquoise earrings. YES – earmark. Birthday gift comin’ at me. WAIT. No. I love my earlobes too much to get those suckers yanked from them the day I get brave enough to put them on. Besides, ear injuries smell nasty and ya'll know that's true... gross, but true.

Hello perfection in the form of a stiletto sandal. I love you. I mean really, drool might have just puddled on the page your picture is on. But unfortunately, I would rather go barefoot than wear you down to Walmart with my 50+ pounds of babes in tow.

And you get the idea...

My name is Amber, and I’m seeking some blue jeans, some medium wedge sandals, a nice cotton tee with some fit and some stud earrings. Wow – I’m stylish. Some day my wardrobe will once again be crisp and clean and white and dry-clean only... but for now we're all about function and steering clear of the "mom jean".

Hey, before you judge, know that my outfits can trump a lot of peoples' because I’ve got two little "to die for" accessories... including this one...

Who knows how to get a "Shreat" from his mama, every time....

And this one...

Who is standin' up like the Big Man on Campus.

Take that Boston Proper!