Reality Check...

Ever have those moments where you can't believe your own reality?

I've had a few... the day I pulled out of my parent's drive to independence and college - crying and laughing and cranking the radio so I didn't hear myself sobbing. The day RyGar proposed to me and I stared in awe at him and then at the sparkling gem on my finger. The day I said yes to spending eternity with my love across the altar surrounded by family and friends. The day I first basked in the Hawaiian sun and felt the waves lapping at my toes. The day I was handed my first little fair-haired angel baby with cherub cheeks and my heart beat outside of my chest. The day my second angel baby was placed in my arms all slippery and pink and new and ready to be loved. And then .... today. The day I held Ryan's hand and watched a dark screen filled with happy dancing movement in the form of a tiny new baby who will soon join our little burgeoning family.

I have a million thoughts swimming in my head and for those of you who are in shock (as we were), yes, this is an announcement. And the thoughts that keep surfacing are those of sheer gratitude and humility. How is it that my lucky stars have aligned so perfectly to give us such a beautiful family? I went from almost accepting that being a mother here on earth wasn't in the grand plan for me.... almost... to what I have now, and I can't imagine not having every part of it. I can't believe I've been granted the opportunity to taste this deliriously good happiness that not long ago I didn't even know existed.

And I know that having another little love won't be easy at first; and grocery shopping, well that may be downright impossible to attempt solo. But easy doesn't give you a reason to get up in the morning. Easy doesn't make your heart jump for joy. Easy doesn't make you feel alive with tangible little kisses, hot tears and warm hugs or those knowing glances that only spouses share through the roller coaster ride known as parenthood.

So... Take That, Easy.

Because I can already see in my mind the first trip to Disneyland, with my little wide-eyed possee and the magic will be tangible and real for each one of them. I can see them all learning to ski at ski-school together on a snowy slope, sharing words of encouragement and giggling as they all topple over each other. And I can already see them laid out on the floor of Grandpa's cabin in sleeping bags with sugary morning breath from midnight candy overdose.

And I know we're up to the task. And it's gonna be "epic".

I feel like the impossible has been achieved for us. I feel the little firefly flutters inside me that indicate new life. I feel the muscles of my heart preparing to stretch even bigger. I feel the love of a family; and not just any family, our beautiful, perfect, forever family. I feel like my reality is more than I could have ever dreamed of.

So there you have it... more good news in the form of tiny fingers and toes and a new "BEE-BEE" as Kaelster says. Just when we thought life couldn't get any sweeter.... it's syrupy.

Coming soon... Baby BOY Gardner Number Three... September 2011.