One Year Ago...

I can't believe our baby Dax is one year old.

My heart is twisting with love and pride and sheer disbelief that one person could be given such incredible blessings - including our little miracle, Dax.

Twelve months ago we thought our hearts couldn't swell anymore. They were already so full of love for a little blonde baby whose big cheeks smiled when we were in his presence and who giggled mercilessly when he was tickled. He was on the verge of crawling... just a baby himself, and yet, we packed our bags and temporarily kissed that chubby blonde babe goodbye and headed to the hospital to meet the other love of our lives.

Only a mother can understand my nerves... Would I be able to make room in my heart to love another? Would I be able to divvy my time between two babies? Would I love them unconditionally and have enough patience to teach them to be good, upstanding citizens of this world?

And then I met him.

And his little perfectly alert eyes stared into mine and his tiny fingers grasped and my insides melted. I was puddy in that little rock star's hands. And I knew everything was going to be OK. And I bawled in the flood of hormones and emotions as we pulled out of the hospital lot with two babes in their car seats, sharing a blankie and sleeping soundly as we zipped up the freeway.

And I learned that you can always love more and more. It seems to be the one completely replenish able fuel that goes to "infinity and beyond" and is up for the taking. It's not like you can't be in love with loving God's loveliest of things every day, every minute, every second.

And if I haven't mentioned it - We love him.

All 21 lbs 4 ounces of him.

Our long and lean babe is 31 inches long already which puts him in the 90th percentile.

And here he is at a milestone. It seems that is the stuff that "first years" are made of... milestones and more milestones. They sleep through the night, they sit, they eat solids, they crawl, they feed themselves and then they're walking right off to toddler hood and celebrating their first birthday and you're stuck in the eye of the storm wanting to pull them back in with you because it's all going way too fast and slow at the same time.

So, like I'll say on every one of his birthdays... I love you, Dax. I will always love you. I can't wait to see what you do with your one wild and crazy life. I am proud of you. I am so happy to be called your mom. I want nothing more than for you to follow your bliss and truly do what makes you happy.

I hope you dream big and work hard to make your dreams realities. I hope you know how thrilled we are that you're a part of our family and that you're the only one that could fill that spot.

I know you and your brother will always stay close, watch one anothers' backs and love each other; and yes, you have my permission to wrestle incessantly on the bed as long as you're both laughing. And I'm totally, unabashedly fine with that because that means that I am in the midst of my boys - something that still takes my breath away because the joy is so acute. And, oh yeah, I adore you... with every cell in my body and fiber of my being.

A special thanks to our wonderful families that made celebrating this day all the more special... whether you were actually here - or just here in spirit. :)

We love you and love that you love our little men.

Happy First Birthday, Dax Man!

Many, many more to come...