Kindness is Cool...

Tragedy is zooming in all around us at lightning speed.  I hate turning on the news and listening to all the woes of the world.  I much prefer to live in a bubble and put up blinders and ear muffs so I can "see no evil, hear no evil".

I've said it over and over again - time to flee to the mountains.  And part of me means it in the very innocent desire to keep those I love close to me and safe like a mother hen.  But the other part of me, the logical part, knows we have to have a full mortal experience and surround ourselves with other members of the human race to learn and grow to our fullest.  But with that comes inherent risk. People do not equal safety.  In fact, in today's bustling world full of people, you might say I'm a mama deer - skittish in the crowds and eager to nestle down and stay in the fringe until the crowd dissipates and the danger is less obtrusive.

I don't like raising my babies in a world full of evil.  I don't like feeling unsafe.  I trust my instincts, I'm prepared for lots of disasters, but I don't go out into the crowd seeking after them.  And my heart aches for those that have kissed their little loves good bye, and sent them off to school, only to wonder if they are whole and well mid-day in the midst of another tragedy.

It's a spiraling jetty I could easily get sucked into and end up at the bottom of hopeless and confused.  BUT instead, we've been focusing on the four little humans we can influence directly and regularly... as we implement the world's biggest weapon of defense.... KINDNESS.  

Lately we've been holding weekly family home evenings that focus on kindness and gratitude.  We share a story.... talk about it.... practice things to say in certain situations and print off a saying or a "mantra" to look at for the week on their bathroom mirror.  All this in a renewed effort to raise upstanding citizens... and not just "rule abiders who are successful", but boys & men that will lead others by example and influence for the good and put a stop to things that are wrong.

I'm amazed at what it has done in the short time we've been doing it.  I mean, do they still occasionally slug one another "just because"?  Yes.  They're little dudes, after all, but I have noticed some changes in demeanor.  Some thoughtful comments.  Some caring words.  Little things that have sprouted up in the middle of the things we're trying to grow up to be good here in the Gardner house.

And it's worth it.  

Hard.

But worth it.

My biggest challenge is that all important balancing act with boys.... teaching kindness and being the bigger person AND embracing their inherent competitive edge, their desire to win, their alpha dog attitudes that will inevitably serve them well.  We're mindful of our huge role to raise future leaders.  We're flubbing it up along the way and reversing and trying again.  But we're consciously trying and being deliberate.

All that to say... send us your best words of wisdom and your greatest advice for a couple of parents, sans parenting manual, who want to get it right for the sake of their kiddos and, you know, the world.

No pressure.  :)

This week's words?  

"Do the right thing, even when no one is looking."

XO Little Gents.

Reading and Relapse...

It was a doozy of a week last week.  We had coughs and colds and congestion - oh my!

Poor Boone held out as long as he could and then was throttled by the stuff to the point that we took him on Saturday for some urgent care.

His first ear infection ever at the ripe old age of 2.

Kael and Ace were also hacking up their little lungs but luckily they are of the age where they can be dosed with over-the-counter magic and their little bodies respond well.  

Poor little cowboys.

So we stayed in much more than usual.  

We read

A LOT

Which obviously requires smart glass if you're Ace Face.  :)

Night time reads are my favorite around here.  Lately, Ryan has had them gather around him as he reads Harry Potter books aloud.  It is SO helpful to me and gives me time to fold another load of laundry or mop the floors or bathe Boone.  It's sweet to watch and they absorb much more than I ever imagined they would all dog piled in the corner of the couch.

It's with no qualms we pull a face at last week and bid it adieu.

Peace out, Sick Days!

No relapses, Please.

Starfish and Sting Rays...

This past week we got to spend the night at the Aquarium - after hours.  This meant spending a night "under the sea" without the "sea" of people to deal with.  And it didn't suck.  :)

I love watching the wonder of a first-time aquarium goer.  

Boone's face said it all...

Like, "Wait, you WANT me to reach my hand in the water and touch that critter?" 

"You aren't going to pull my hand out and say, 'No-No'?"

"It's allowed to run up to the big tanks and put my hands and face on the glass and stare in wonder for an extended length of time?"

Yes, Yes, Yes... all of the above, little loves.

Also - the shark tunnel.  Will I ever get over the irrational fears/complete wonder of the shark tunnel?  Like seriously - ALL that water... it's bound to collapse sometime.  Just watch, I'll be walking through the shark tank when an earthquake cracks the glass and I'll be eaten on land by a Great White.  These are thoughts I entertain while walking through the tunnel every dang time.  But I kind of love the thrill and the threat of danger all wrapped into one.

That is why folks pay to go to the aquarium, I guess?

For the record, we didn't have to pay.  Which makes every experience all the more enjoyable.  And bonus - free ice cream sandwiches.  Double bonus: I travel with Boone, who, true to form, has a bite or two and then says, "Don't want it, Mommy.  Here go."  Don't mind if I do, Booner Bear.

We found all the brightly colored poisonous frogs in the frog habitat.

We lounged on a great number of frog statues as well.

And a turtle... for good measure.

The penguins were experiencing their 20+ hours of winter darkness in their habitat that mimics the arctic, which was a bit of a bummer, but I guess we understand.

Kaelster had a butterfly or two land on him in the butterfly habitat.  He was the only one in our crew, so we've decided he is the sweetest.  :)

And Grandpa & Boone schemed up various ways of catching the lunker out of the fresh water exhibits together.  Few words.  Many hand gestures.  :)

We lost Ace Face several times who was hell bent on finding the otters and the sloths with or without our companionship.  So if you're wondering why you never see his face in these shots - know that Grandma was playing a mandatory game of Hide & Seek with him most of the night.  Bless her.

And the obligatory aquarium shot to wrap it up....

For the record, my childhood viewing of Jaws makes this pose a little hard for me to take... still.

Some things stick with you, you know?

Du-Duh.... Du Duh....

What I'm Learning about Little People...

Yesterday I heard a guy draw a parallel between being a farmer and growing seeds into plants - to being a parent and growing children into upstanding citizens.

He basically said, "Plant it - provide good conditions for it to grow - and LET IT BE."

He went to talk about how weird it would be to see a farmer out in his fields hovering over every single seed that was planted amongst his acres of rows of seeds.  But he acknowledged it wouldn't be strange to see a farmer look to the Heavens to utter a prayer for his crops.  It wouldn't be odd for a farmer to talk to other farmers about watering, or fertilizing.  And he said it is an expectation that a farmer would occasionally apply a pest control, or weed deterrent for his precious seedlings.

BUT by and large, the seeds will grow and develop and become plants much on their own accord.

All this to say.... Whew - we had a rough patch around here.

And looking back, I think RyGar and I probably hovered over our little seeds too much -- Hypothetically speaking.

Ours are good boys.  

Busy

Loud

Free-Spirited

Determined

Smart

Hard Working

Friendly

Passionate

Boys.

And we want the very best for them.  

SO... when Kael cried when his beloved Patriots didn't win the Superbowl - we got upset.

When Ace flipped off the wall at the hotel pool into the water - we yelled and put him in time out.

When Dax pitched a fit trying to find the "old man beard" to cap off his 100th day of school look - we sighed in frustration and rolled our eyes at one another as we shoved them out the door to school.

It's a hard balancing act - this whole parenting gig.  

I know they're capable of so much, so I keep upping the bar of expectation... probably unfairly.

 

And so... thanks to the analogy of the farmer and the seed.  This mama took a few chill pills these past couple of days, and as prescribed... the seedlings are growing just fine on their own without my hovering or urging promptings in their ears.

On Saturday we all went outside after their ball games and played Poison and Speed.  The neighbors were out and the kids were all there and Kael said to me, "I love it when this happens!"

"What?" I asked.

"You know when all the kids and parents are outside together just talking and playing - it's the best!"

:)

It takes so very little.

I'm recommitted to chillax and let good things grow.